Well, when I started this post, the title was “Two Weeks Out” — see how well I’m doing? Lol. It’s been an eventful few weeks. I do have to say — I’m sick to death of talking about gastric bypass, especially with people who have either had the surgery or who have no idea what the surgery entails. I don’t want to explain it any more, or hear advice that I’m already well aware of. I kind of wish I just hadn’t told most people that I had it done. But I did, and we’re here, so… Moving on.
I was approved last Thursday to move onto the pureed/soft food stage and let me just tell you — I was happy as a pig in shit. I’d gotten to the point where thinking about drinking protein shakes and broth made me sick to my stomach. Funnily enough, my first food was still a liquid, but it had been off-limits: chicken and gnocchi soup from Olive Garden (no I didn’t eat the gnocchi or chicken, but hell yes I had the broth and little bits of veggies!). In the earlier days I had baked sweet potato (with some of this Olivio spray and some salt and pepper), mashed potato, and yogurt, and since I’ve tried adding some more proteins — shrimp, shredded pork, and very finely ground beef. The shrimp was a no go — I don’t know if I ate too much, too fast, or if the shrimp and my belly just don’t get along, but let me tell you — this dumping syndrome is no bullshit. I thought I was going to split in half and vomit everywhere. Luckily it only lasted 10ish minutes, but it was hellacious. The shredded pork was better, but still I hurt myself (but nowhere near as bad!) — I think that time was genuinely that I didn’t chew well enough. This is SUCH a learning curve… Eating three shrimp just doesn’t feel like dinner. Eating three shrimp over the span of 30mins definitely doesn’t feel like dinner. This is definitely a mindset piece I’m struggling with at the moment. I need to remind myself constantly that I’m not going to be able to eat the way I was before. Of course, you know this, but in actually living it, things are hard!
I’m also struggling with vitamins. I just can’t seem to stomach them. I honestly haven’t taken them in awhile, but I’m hoping once my tummy heals a bit more they’ll be alright. My nutritionist also added iron and calcium, but damn… Trying to get all that in, along with the water and protein, is crazy. I definitely need to drink more, though I’ve been drinking a lot. Returning to work sucks but it is what it is. I was lucky enough to work from home during Week 2, but I returned to normal working this Monday. I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday — I’m so tired!
I’ve been reading about other people’s experiences, and it seems like this Week 3–Week 5 period is some of the toughest, mentally, for people, and I’d have to say I agree. While I definitely want the surgery and I want to do all the right things, making the changes and sticking to all the restrictions is hard when sometimes you just really want a damn handful of Cheez-its! Lol. I don’t regret surgery at all, but I do miss enjoying food. Right now, eating is a chore. I can’t wait til the day when things have normalized a bit, and I can enjoy a small portion without feeling like I’m missing out or deprived.
Today I’ve also discovered it hurts to change from a sitting to standing position — nothing major, just like a crampy discomfort mid-stomach. I’m also starting my period, so maybe things are just funky… who knows. I haven’t been on a scale since last Thursday, but my weight was (I believe) 322.2, which is an overall loss of 78.5lbs, and a weight loss from surgery day (~341) of ~18.8lbs. And when you consider I gained five pounds in the hospital, I’m feeling pretty good about the numbers 😛 I’m actually excited to get on the scale tomorrow, though I’m wary because of the period thing… we’ll see!
I think one of the biggest things that’s been bothering me is the fact that I don’t really have a goal at this point. Up until three weeks ago, the goal was to get to surgery. Well, we’re here, I’m home and alive, so what’s next? I guess I need to work on goal setting… I think the first one is ready to go: Get below 300lbs. I don’t remember the last time I was in the 200s… probably high school! Okay, now that I’ve written it, I’m kinda pumped to get to this goal. Here we go! 🙂