💗

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted, but life happens. I started working a shitty job (that I just quit lol) and got kinda sidetracked from the gym and properly caring for myself. Now that I’ve got free time again, and thankfully an incredible boyfriend who is taking care of me through all this, […]

Non-scale changes.

-saggy thigh skin -belly button rash from tummy folding -moving without hurting -bracelets falling down my arms -feeling bones when I touch my body -being uncomfortable in bed because bones -a bra I’ve had for literally 5yrs that never fit is now slightly too big -ordering clothes not knowing my size and sending them back […]

How do you know?

How do you know when you've made the right decision? About anything, really? When you're given two perfectly acceptable options, how do you know which is the right one to choose? I feel like I'll always wonder what would have happened had I chosen the other path. What my life would have looked like, who […]

One year later.

Today, August 1, 2017, marks one year since I made the decision to pursue gastric bypass surgery. I had been suffering from a pinched nerve in my hip that would make my entire upper leg numb at times, and often prevented me from walking and standing for more than just a couple of minutes. I […]

Raw

For the greater part of tonight, I’ve been deleting photos and screenshots from my phone and crying. And I don’t understand why really, so this is my attempt to process whatever it is I’m feeling. In April, I ended an 18-month long relationship — short in the grand scheme of things, but it was intense […]

STALLED OUT.

Well fuck this shit, lol. Your lovely cruise director here has stalled out at 322.3lbs for a goddamn week now. I’ve heard this is common but c’mon, what a drag just three weeks out from surgery. Oh well… at least I’ll be away from the scale at camp til the 4th!

Post-Surgical Update #2: Three Weeks Out

Well, when I started this post, the title was “Two Weeks Out” — see how well I’m doing? Lol. It’s been an eventful few weeks. I do have to say — I’m sick to death of talking about gastric bypass, especially with people who have either had the surgery or who have no idea what […]

Surgery review — okay, this is gonna be brief…

I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to be in the mood to want to write this…And even now, I’m not really. But I do want to get out some details before everything becomes a hazy memory. Surgery was Thursday, June 8 — as of that morning, I was at 340.4lbs, which is a […]

Less than 12 hours out…

My surgery is tomorrow morning! I am so so soooo beyond excited. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for ages, even though in reality the real prep for this has only been about ten months long. But I feel like it’s a step in the direction of a solution for a life-long problem, […]

One week away!

Today is Day 7 of the two-week liquid diet pre-surgery. It is definitely not the easiest thing I’ve ever done, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t tolerable! Don’t get me wrong I want pizza and Doritos and Cheez-it’s, but I can be around other people eating food and be okay. I can happily enjoy […]